Closure after the closure with someone from the past..

Because i was such in a dark place lately, early morning i messaged the only person who came into my mind. My ex.. Yep. The guy i've been talking about before this recent one. He has a family now and a wife. I don't know what came through me. After i sent him the message, i gave him my number, at that time i thought i could ask for his advice as he was a very frank guy as i remember him to be. It was only really after i pressed that sent button that i realized the mistake. I could have been branded as an attempted home wrecker! My conscience killed me and i knew was gona get into trouble.

He replied he was busy but Expectedly, it was his wife/gf who messaged me and asked if there was anything she needed to know. I called her and expained my intentions and apologized and just told her not to allow him to call. Damn.. I involved other people in my problems! I'm really going insane. The guy which took forever for me to get over with after he dumped me for this current girl (whom he has a kid with!) The situation looked bad for me, i know.

However, the mistake turned out beneficial. The girl wanted to chat with me and we did. I guess she was really curious about the relationship between us. I just answered honestly. The least i could do for being stupid.

For the whole afternoon until midnight, we were just texting, awkward of course but i felt she needed this as well. Plus that i appreciate how she didn't chase me off which she could easily have. Until finally, it was time for him to call. The conversation was short i guess he was limited that she was also there. Could i have made it more awkward than that? Almost opened a well-buried can of worms but told him ignorance is bliss. Also, i took the opportunity to tell him i felt mad at what he did before for badmouthing me with people when we had a good break up. I even have the chat saved where he promised we'd be friends after two years and i gave it 3. He asked why i suddenly wanted to talk to him. Well, i just thought maybe it's time to forgive eachother for everything. I think that really settled that story now.

I learned that healing takes time. I can't believe now i can talk to him and his gf like it's normal. Of course, i would have to consider boundaries. Have to text the girl instead of him directly lest i will be misconstrued with my intentions. I honestly feel good after talking to them. Back then, the drama between us was at a different level which lasted years. Mainly because a lot of people kept delivering stories and issues with eachother and him, being tactless, just fueled the fire.

I'm only happy to be able to tell him directlty and calmly, (after almost 3 years!) "Don't ever assume i'm not over you!! It's obvious my world didn't stop cz we broke up" haha it was a long time coming.

I should do the same now. Come to think of it, my situation with this ex was worst than the current. But i got through it fine. I've fallen and crashed twice now, i should reflect on not falling so easily again.

I also considered him still a special part of my life, and i think he does still mainly because of the past we shared. Was thinking, would my current ex think of me like that considering that i really fought for him? Or would that disappear because he pitied me that i loved him too much. I wish he would still consider me in the future as a friend like how this ex did but i guess i can't expect much from him. He was never the live-up-to-your-expectations type as i said in another blog.

Someday, i will return the favor to all those people who helped me in this important time. Yes, including my ex and his family. For now, i'm concentrating for the bar exams i can't afford putting any more energy on this.

I get weak everyday, i want to call him, tell him i love him but i shouldn't. I can't and mustn't. I wanted to ask his comfort but he never gave it. So i have to give it to myself. Allow myself to express the pain rather than keep it. It's too much to bear alone.

So tomorrow, i will go back and study the crap out until my brain bleeds of legal infornation!:)) although my heart is broken my life won't end! I promise you that!

Smart Communications: Live more

Messaging is more than communication.

I never used to patronize SMART. I have to confess that it was only in early 2011 that I hastily bought a new Smartbro because I had lost my internet connection for 10 days. I needed the internet to do my online job as a freelance writer and a day without internet is money lost. When I started using Smartbro, I noticed immediately how fast and reliable it was but it was not only until when my nephew got sick and eventually passed away that I really appreciated Smart. We were in the hospital a few days before his operation and we needed a way to communicate to our parents abroad. Of course, we were from Cebu and my nephew was set to be operated in Manila, so my sister, her family and I had to go all the way to the unfamiliar place of Luzon to seek the medical healing of our precious baby. My sister brought with her, her Globe Tattoo while I brought with me my Smartbro. It wasn't long before we realized which one had the most powerful mobile internet and so I allowed them to use my USB mobile net to Skype with our parents. With the other mobile internet provider, we had to many errors and with Smartbro it was just smooth sailing. What do you expect when you have up to 3mbps of mobile internet at your disposal, right?

When my nephew passed away, during the wake, our parents requested that we do not turn off the live streaming so they can watch the mass and mourn with us even if they cannot join us physically. Again, we had the two mobile internet sticks with us and with Tattoo, we still got the same lagging error and with Smartbro, our parents were able to mourn with us real time. The whole duration of the funeral, we took the Smartbro internet-powered laptop around with us to our parents join us during the long procession to the cemetery via Skype and not once was there any error in the video and audio because of the fast mobile internet.

To Read more about my nephew's story click here.

Always connected while reviewing
coz mom calls me anytime.

A year has passed since then and I still have the same Smartbro internet stick with me. A year plus old but still works as fast as the last time. This has been my favorite travel must-have. Now, I'm reviewing for the Bar and I have left my home province of Cebu City to live independently in the big city, Metro Manila. More than ever, I have relied on Smartbro to help me connect with my loved ones and friends because it works well with Skype, Magicjack, Email and social media like, Twitter and Facebook. It has kept the loneliness at bay. And when I need fast updates about the news and the Bar Examinations like Bar Matter updates or new cases and notes I need to download and read, I am worried only that one day my SIM card will die on me because I am dependent on it too much. :P So much so that I actually have two Smartbro Sim cards just in case. What I love about it is that the same SIM card I use for the my Smartbro USB stick can be used in my iPhone or any 3g enable gadget I have. It's very useful if I am commuting because I can use my maps app to search for my destination and the fastest route to get there and if I have information I need to look up in google, it's no problem because I can be online on-the-go. I've also tried using my laptop as a WIFI hotspot using a Windows 7 program, sharing my Smartbro mobile internet to 3-5 other gadgets and it never had any problems. This is my live more moment: Getting out of my comfort zone, starting out a new adventure every time in an unknown world while not sacrificing the bond I have with any of the important people in my life. With Smart helping me get to my destination because of their widest nation-wide coverage, I am NEVER out of signal and I am ALWAYS connected wherever I am.

My Rags to Riches Bag w/ Smart Logo

I have cut off the landline internet at home and switched to Smartbro 3g WIFI mobile net and as for our Globe Tattoo, we honestly don't know where it is now. Imagine paying P999 for postpaid PLDT MyDsl internet every month for only up to 3 Kbps internet speed (and upgrade to only 1 Mbps for P1200 per month) as compared to Smart Unlisurf of P1200/Month of speed up to 3 Mbps and that's PREPAID. Switching was no brainer.

I guess all the patronizing of SMARTbro has paid off, though I could only wish for it, they were kind enough to choose me as the winner for their Live More moment when I shared my story on Twitter. I am now the proud owner of a Nokia Lumia 710 which I will post here after they send it to me in two weeks.

But really, thank you SMART for your service. Looking back, I'm glad our land line internet is expensive, slow and unreliable, without which, I never would have bought Smartbro and wouldn't have discovered the benefits of switching to this mobile internet service.

To end my blog, messaging is more than just communication. It is sharing every moment that matters to the people on the other end and if the line you are using to communicate is clear, powerful and as reliable as SMART, you are sure to send them not only your words but as well as your feelings.

Head to Toe woman's guide in preparing for that first date..

Excited for that first date but unsure how to prepare your self for it? Here are some useful tips for you.

1) Head: Make sure you get a good haircut to get that confidence you need. For the eyes make sure u don't apply too much make up. Use safe earth colors. Save the dark eyeshadows until the third date. Mascarra is a must. Blush on is ok but make sure you put it is as natural as possible. Moisturize to look fresh. Don't use dark lipstick or else you might discourage them from kssing you. Use lipbalm then light beige lipstick to tease. Don't forget the most important accessory, your smile!

2) Body: make sure you wear clothes that cover up you body but reveals enough to show off your curves. Save the backless, strapless or plunging blouse for maybe the second date. Don't wear distracting colors. Go for white, black, grey, velvet red. Don't do green, fuschia pink or stripes. Unless you are confident in pulling it off.. Take note guys look at what you're wearing as much as other girls are.

3) Toe: wear flats! Heels only when you are going to have fine dining but always have light flatshoes ready in your bag. You never know what will happen coz first dates are unpredictable.. A short romantic walk may just spring up!

Don'ts:
Talk abut your ex. If it pops up, just politely say that you're not comfortable talking about it. If he insists then that's when you can tell him. Be careful not to sound bitter.

Insist on paying for your food. Offer but if he insists on paying for you then let him.

Be too independent. Let him open doors, pull out your chair, guide you where to go, order for you etc. A man wants to be chivalrous as well. If you let him, you are being sensitive to him.

Clingy or needy. Don't insist on a second date.

Have sex. Leave him hanging for the second date.

Talk to much. Let him open up about himself as well and get to know him to decide whether to get dessert or not.

There you go! Goodluck