Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Don't shout when you're angry...

"Why We Shout In Anger"

A Hindu saint who was visiting river Ganges to take bath found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his disciples smiled'n asked.

'Why do people shout in anger shout at each other?'

Disciples thought for a while, one of them said,'Because we lose our calm, we shout.'

'But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner.'asked the saint

Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the other disciples.
Finally the saint explained, .

'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance.

What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either nonexistent or very small...'

The saint continued,'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper'n they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other'n that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'

He looked at his disciples and said.

'So when you argue do not let your hearts get distant, Do not say words that distance each other more, Or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.'


I woke up with a horrible sensation. A bad dream perhaps, a nightmare that summarizes all my fears and insecurities. I don't know where i'm heading. I'm too damaged to function properly. I am because i let it. I realized i have become too dependent on my temporary relief. Lust disguised as love. Easily shattered. He has his own life. We can't continue on this fantasy as it is clear as daylight that i want something more than he can offer. Maybe he gave it already and i am just fooling myself. Maybe this is what it plainly is, an affair. I'm too confused because i am still hurt with my reality, if given this is fantasy, that i am still broken with my last relationship. I can't trust him as much as i can't trust myself not to fall and not to wish.

What have i done?

In my attempt to not be alone, i've never been so lonely. I came here, far from home, hoping to have some clarity and focus but i'm too distracted. Everything is just falling apart with a foundation built to be with someone who didn't want a part of it. A part of the mess.

I am glad he is happy yet i am selfish that i want his happiness with me. I wish someday to heal and be happy alone and not depend on others. However, time is running out. I don't want to be alone.

Where do i go from here? Take the short path and stay on the same course or take the long road to happiness where i find myself and take time for myself? God, please, show me the way.

Thursday, August 16, 2012


It's sad how someone will mask their guilt for a failed relationship by removing all traces of it from their lives as if it never happened, as if it never were. Also, By passing the blame to the other party and ignoring the past, it's easier to move on first before the other party has a chance to even say goodbye nor even settle lose ends. Frustrating how strangers become good friends-turned-lovers now become strangers once again. Such is not the cycle of life. Why does such a thing happen then? Because there were things left unsaid, undone and never should have been done in the first place. Regret is d worst form of feeling. I think i've punished myself enough for crimes i didn't commit. It's time to let time heal the wounds and in the process, the memories too shall fade. As more important things in my life should be prioritized, i'm freeing myself from oppressive thoughts. I deserve to be happy as well.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Letting memories fade...

Removing all trace of us like we never were?I guess i just have no choice but to let time heal d wounds then u too in my memores will fade.