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Tuesday, July 30, 2013

When you love someone that does things that annoy you..(pet peeves blog)

Earlier in training we were given an interesting topic to talk about during "free speech activity". We were asked to talk about our pet peeves or things that people do that annoy us. I wanted to go ahead and say mine first before anybody takes it and I have to come up with other pet peeves which is unique from the rest. However, I got to go third before the last person went up in front and most of the common pet peeves were already taken.

Most of them had mentioned experiences when commuting or things that people do on the train or on a PUJ and what-not and some are pretty funny especially the things that our Trainer talked about.

As it was my turn to talk about my pet peeve here is what I ended up saying:

Hi everyone! I really wanted to go first because I didn't want to come up with uncommon pet peeves but unfortunately, most of things I have written down to say in front was already taken by most of you.

A pet peeve is something that annoys you or something people do that is just annoying. As most of you already know, my parents left for the States when I was 14 and I was basically left to be on my own at that point. It was hard but I grew up pretty fast since I was forced to take care of myself and be responsible on my own when other kids my age had parents to protect them and tell them what was right and wrong. In my case, since it was different for me, I really liked to have my own space at times or times that I just want to be left alone. What really annoys me is when someone tried to invade that space or that "me" time that I often have so here are two things that annoys me and usually, it's my aunt who does this.

It really annoys me when I'm in the bathroom doing my business and she knocks on my door and say, "Mai Mai, you know what happened to me earlier.." and just chats and chats and chats and I'm like, "Hello... I'm in the bathroom, can't you wait 'til I'm done answering the call of nature?" You know how it is with bathroom time, it's the time when high scores are made coz I just sit there and play with my ipad or check out facebook or read online news. Plus it feels awkward talking to someone outside while you're there actually doing your business. You get what I mean?


Another pet peeve of mine, is when at around 11PM, when I am already in bed just lying there meditating on how my day went, sorting out some of my thoughts and, again, my aunt, with no sense of personal space, just chats with me regarding all the things that happened to her and her colleagues, people I don't even know personally, like I'm her personal diary. I used to have my room to my own but since I left and moved to Luzon, she actually moved into my room and when I go visit there, she and I become roomies and she just uses that time of the night, my time to face my own thoughts, to just talk about her day.

However, that's the thing with pet peeves, it annoys you but if it's someone you love who does it, you allow it and you suck it up. My aunt, at times, has no one else to talk to. She has taken cared of us since we were young and when my parents left, she was our mother and our father at the same time. She did not get married since we became her life. She gained a lot of weight since she really didn't have the time to take care of herself. I owe her my life as well, hence, if the only thing that I can do to make up for the things that she has done for me and my siblings and parents, is to just listen to her when she wants me to listen then I'd do it BECAUSE I love her. Last Saturday, she woke me up and even called me five times knowing I was still asleep and just talked about updates in the house. I'm sleepy but I still listen and acknowledged her by saying, "Ok ok" though I had both eyes closed.

Just a few months ago, my aunt got diagnosed with Cancer, however, due to timely medical procedure, she is now cancer free but I remember the day when I found out about her condition, it was the same day I found out about the results of the bar, and I was even more devastated since I realized I couldn't imagine losing her at this time when I haven't proven anything to her yet or I can't imagine a satisfied life without her in it. She has been the foundation of our family as she really brought all of us together and even serves as the bridge between me and my siblings and our parents. So, since the time this event actually happened, I always had it in my mind, this fear that wakes me up at night hence, I vowed to take the fast lane and make sure that I accomplish something already the faster I get there the better as LIFE IS SHORT.

My point really is, to all of you guys who mentioned pet peeves, I noticed that you mostly talked about strangers who do this but you never mentioned about relatives or loved ones doing this as subconsciously, I think you are the same as me and that you adjust when it is someone you love.

So that's it. My pet peeves, and pet peevy aunt.

My "Obasan" at approx same age as me now as I post this on the left..

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

stabbed and exposed..

Thought to hopefully end my day: I don't know which is worst, to be stabbed in the back by a total stranger or finding out that a friend saw you about to get stabbed in the back and they stood idly by. Of course, a person of low intellect is someone you can't blame for their actions. It's like getting mad at a screw driver for "screwing" a bolt or a spoon for making you fat. They can't help it, they are just tools driven by ignorance, corrupted by malice. Immature solution? throw them all in the trash can and forget them. They don't have the right to live your life. Mature solution? take it as a challenge, if you're innocent you face your prosecutors, even if a familiar face is among them. I wish it were that easy for many of us. I wish it were that easy for me.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Ignorance is bliss..

There are things better left unspoken, better left undiscussed, better left forgotten.. For sometimes doing those things could cause wounds that should never have been there in the first place. The human mind naturally makes up excuses for one to feel better faced with adversity or what i like to coin as a comfort blanket. If it is a demotion in your job, you figured it was because they are cost cutting instead of admitting you had a poor performance for the past months. If it is a heartbreak, you imagined the worst about the other person, make them look even despicable in your eyes and less desireable, rather than admitting to yourself that the relationship was not meant to work and live with the fact that you had a fault in it as well... However, if you talked about it, if you broke it down to pieces or if you confront the truth behind things you might just not like what you see.. A friend of mine posted that the truth will not set you free and that it will not turn out for the better of anything. I think she has a point. I wish i didn't know what i know. I wished i would have stayed ignorant maybe i'll be happier. Next time, i should learn to leave things be. I forced it too much... I need to rest my brain.