Sunday, December 2, 2012

my SINGLE status...

someone asked me what my type of guy was.. it got me thinking that before, I would say, "I want someone adventurous, someone spontaneous, a lover of NOW, an artist, someone who was carefree and someone whom I can just cry and laugh with. A boy to be with everyday.". As time went by, I think my type of guy has changed, "I want a MAN not a boy." A boy plays with toys and breaks things...A man knows how to love and how to keep that love. Not cower then blames the girl like a boy would. So yes, I'm single, I'm dating and I have a career. I'm strong, independent and I'm happy. I know what I want and I know how to get it.  If you want to change my status, then be MAN enough for me. :D oh.. and you have to talk to my boss too. :P

Monday, November 12, 2012

My take on Alice in Wonderland

Alice in the wonderland is a satire of what happens after a break up. You fall into a deep sleep, searching for sex becomes a game(white rabbit), you become a little bit crazy (mad hatter), your thoughts seem to talk to you all the time (blue caterpillar), your self-confidence shrinks as you drink, you feel better with cake, and love seems to want to cut off your head(queen of hearts).

Friday, October 26, 2012

Strength as inspired by bad ass badong

This point in time i can honestly say i am humbled. I used to think i was strong thay nothing can surprise me and that aside from when my beloved nephew became an angel, i would never feel that devastated again but i was wrong. Take away a warrior from their comfort zone and give them a battlefield they are not used to fighting in and they will crumble. I started this year with such fear of my future and i was scared of failing myself but because i had my family and friends to support me and love me as myself no matter what happens made me want to make them proud of me. Most of all, it's true that you only have God to draw strength from at times you are truly alone. As i was packing my stuffs to be shipped back to cebu for when i come home, i just knew it, i'm no longer afraid. Whatever the outcome is, i control my future and i know i wanna be happy so that's where i want to go. I will fulfill my dreams and be happy. Starting from moving out, getting a job, saving money and enjoy life and look forward to the future.

I will junk all the drama in my life only happiness and optimism.

I will no longer talk or think of people who are causing me negativity.

I'll love more and care for my family and friends more.

I will not date someone unless i know he is the one.

And no more casual flings.

I will be a better person than who i am now.

Eat right, sleep right, travel more, read more and do all the others things i didn't get to do when i was in a couple and at the same time in law school. I want adventure and i want to fall inlove.

Love. The next time it comes biting me in the ass, i won't take any chances.

I thank my partner, bhadz. I wish that he finds his happiness, i wish more it is me. However, if it isn't me i'm going to be happy for him and i hope by that time i would have found mr right as well if not i won't give up.

To my former paramoure.. I'm happy he's happy. I cried for the last time when i thought of him. Sadly, it just wasn't meant to be. I wished and wished that it had worked out but that's life right? I wouldn't have met bhadz and had this desire to better myself if i had stayed in my comfort zone. If he didn't break my heart i wouldn't have to become stronger and learn to love myself more. Everything happens for a reason.

Bhadz asked me to assure him i will forget my past love but i can not promise. Call me a hopeless romantic but i really did love them. I loved the two men of my life this past 5 years. For a time, they were everything to me but my mom was right that because of this give all attitude that i have, i am setting myself up to get hurt. Yes, i got hurt but i learned so many things as well and it got me wiser.

Panakip butas? No, bhadz wasn't one. When i met him, i didn't plan to fall in love with him and have a relationship but it ended up that God has a way of messing with my plans because he kew there was something better. It might be a relationship with an expiry date and possibly earlier i may have made an implied date as to when this will terminate but i guess i'm doing this for a good reason. To continue to keep him in my life as a friend. Bhadz is a good person, i hope he can see that because i owe him for seeing the best in me at my worst and most vulnerable.

Beb, thank you.. I love you.:)

Sunday, October 7, 2012

To haters!

People say to me, "grabe you're strong". Yes, i'm strong like everyone else but i get hurt like everyone else as well. I do know when a person approaches me as a friend and then whispers when i'm out of ear shot. I do know about how some judge me because of this and that and some stories are just exaggerated and funny and yes, i have long since accepted that i am not going to win ms congeniality anytime soon so i resort to ignore this as a normal everyday thing. I am not popular but i am also not infamous for hurting people and stabbing them in the back. Sayang to these people whom i have considered as colleagues for a long time but they look at me with such disdain because i fail to PLEASE whatever standard they set up for anyone their highnessess want to oblige their friendship with. We could have been friends all this time. If we can't be friends, let's not be enemies. Ignoring me when i'm directly talking to you or acting like i'm not in the room is just plain gay and immature when i don't even know what i did wrong to this person. It's too late to build bridges now though. All i wish is for them to leave me alone at this moment and ignore me like i'm ignoring them. As much as it is amusing to watch them waste their time talking and analyzing me, remember that we're all supposed to be highly-educated people so stop acting like mga chismosas and chismosos na tambay sa kanto coz u sound just like that to the people who are reporting your hurtful words to me. Funny, you say you don't like me because i'm not at your level but i'd rather stay where i am than go down to yours!;) tsup from jane garci!

Day 1-Bar Exams reflection

Things that i have learned so far. If you feel like you are on the verge of breaking down because you feel like you have lost everything you shouldn't, cry a river, build a bridge and move on. Because that's what people do, they move on. Never give up on life, your dreams, sanity, hope, love and most of all never give up on God. Do what you need to do to let it out but don't forget to let it go until you eventually wake up and realize you're finally okay. If it still feels wrong, you haven't let it go. Give it time. Don't mind the judgmental people that surround you and tell you what you should or shouldn't do to make yourseld feel better jus because your methods are below their standards. Who are they for their standards to matter at all? They might know the story but they don't know what you've been through and what you had to do to heal the wounds some people, event and trauma left you. What's important is you love yourself enough to allow yourself be imperfect then mold yourself into a better person. Remember, you are a dream yesterday and a reality today.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Missing colors..

When we were young, we were taught to think that life is black and white. Yes or no. In or out. Love or hate. No in between. But as we grow older, we realize that there are many shades of blue, many types of red, many yellows, greens ad infinitum. We thought that if two people love eachother, they are honest and true. And that, that is the only way to love. But no, it's not like that. Sometimes, you have to keep some things to yourself, some things you shouldn't tell your partner. Imagine if there were no surprises, no more white lies, no more buttering things up. Imagine if the day never ends where you either sleep happy or wake long enough to ruin the other's day. Well that's reality.

Right now, i'm experiencing a severe case of black and white. Too much honesty and good faith that i don't think it's healthy. No sensorship, no pride, no lies and no holding back. A relationship sped up to it's full ripeness.

I think that the honeymoon stage is very essential. You take away the honeymoon, you take away the emotional investment and take away the opportunity to get to know the person better. Likes, dislikes, love and hate. You also take away the anchor of someone to stay. Suppose you take away such colors of love and speed it up right away to pure honesty and jist no holding back your thoughts and ypu get conflict. You get shocked at the other's reaction to the situation and wouldn't know how to approach.

I miss my colors. If it means i can take back a lot of things and just start over i'll do it. Maybe then, i'll have my rainbow by now.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Don't shout when you're angry...

"Why We Shout In Anger"

A Hindu saint who was visiting river Ganges to take bath found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his disciples smiled'n asked.

'Why do people shout in anger shout at each other?'

Disciples thought for a while, one of them said,'Because we lose our calm, we shout.'

'But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner.'asked the saint

Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the other disciples.
Finally the saint explained, .

'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance.

What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either nonexistent or very small...'

The saint continued,'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper'n they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other'n that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'

He looked at his disciples and said.

'So when you argue do not let your hearts get distant, Do not say words that distance each other more, Or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.'


I woke up with a horrible sensation. A bad dream perhaps, a nightmare that summarizes all my fears and insecurities. I don't know where i'm heading. I'm too damaged to function properly. I am because i let it. I realized i have become too dependent on my temporary relief. Lust disguised as love. Easily shattered. He has his own life. We can't continue on this fantasy as it is clear as daylight that i want something more than he can offer. Maybe he gave it already and i am just fooling myself. Maybe this is what it plainly is, an affair. I'm too confused because i am still hurt with my reality, if given this is fantasy, that i am still broken with my last relationship. I can't trust him as much as i can't trust myself not to fall and not to wish.

What have i done?

In my attempt to not be alone, i've never been so lonely. I came here, far from home, hoping to have some clarity and focus but i'm too distracted. Everything is just falling apart with a foundation built to be with someone who didn't want a part of it. A part of the mess.

I am glad he is happy yet i am selfish that i want his happiness with me. I wish someday to heal and be happy alone and not depend on others. However, time is running out. I don't want to be alone.

Where do i go from here? Take the short path and stay on the same course or take the long road to happiness where i find myself and take time for myself? God, please, show me the way.

Thursday, August 16, 2012


It's sad how someone will mask their guilt for a failed relationship by removing all traces of it from their lives as if it never happened, as if it never were. Also, By passing the blame to the other party and ignoring the past, it's easier to move on first before the other party has a chance to even say goodbye nor even settle lose ends. Frustrating how strangers become good friends-turned-lovers now become strangers once again. Such is not the cycle of life. Why does such a thing happen then? Because there were things left unsaid, undone and never should have been done in the first place. Regret is d worst form of feeling. I think i've punished myself enough for crimes i didn't commit. It's time to let time heal the wounds and in the process, the memories too shall fade. As more important things in my life should be prioritized, i'm freeing myself from oppressive thoughts. I deserve to be happy as well.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Letting memories fade...

Removing all trace of us like we never were?I guess i just have no choice but to let time heal d wounds then u too in my memores will fade.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

How to abandon your facebook account without deactivation?

Wanna commit social suicide but don't really want to deactivate your facebook? DO THIS!

1) Go to notepad
2) Type any random word and number combination a with your eyes closed. Don't look at your new combination for risk of you remembering it.
3)  Ctrl+x
4) Go to your email and fb page for change password
5) Enter your current password
6) Ctrl+v to both field of new password and confirm your new password. Click SAVE.
7) Go to notepad
8) Type your old password
9) Ctrl+x
10) Ctrl+v

There you go. You won't be able log in to your fb and retrieve it in your facebook email the password anymore because you don't know what it is. Do not do this unless you are absolutely certain you won't have any more need for your facebook and your email. I recommend you change your primary email to something you don't usually use before your abandon your email because sometimes this is very important not to burn bridges with some people who might want to contact you for business and personal concerns.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Closure after the closure with someone from the past..

Because i was such in a dark place lately, early morning i messaged the only person who came into my mind. My ex.. Yep. The guy i've been talking about before this recent one. He has a family now and a wife. I don't know what came through me. After i sent him the message, i gave him my number, at that time i thought i could ask for his advice as he was a very frank guy as i remember him to be. It was only really after i pressed that sent button that i realized the mistake. I could have been branded as an attempted home wrecker! My conscience killed me and i knew was gona get into trouble.

He replied he was busy but Expectedly, it was his wife/gf who messaged me and asked if there was anything she needed to know. I called her and expained my intentions and apologized and just told her not to allow him to call. Damn.. I involved other people in my problems! I'm really going insane. The guy which took forever for me to get over with after he dumped me for this current girl (whom he has a kid with!) The situation looked bad for me, i know.

However, the mistake turned out beneficial. The girl wanted to chat with me and we did. I guess she was really curious about the relationship between us. I just answered honestly. The least i could do for being stupid.

For the whole afternoon until midnight, we were just texting, awkward of course but i felt she needed this as well. Plus that i appreciate how she didn't chase me off which she could easily have. Until finally, it was time for him to call. The conversation was short i guess he was limited that she was also there. Could i have made it more awkward than that? Almost opened a well-buried can of worms but told him ignorance is bliss. Also, i took the opportunity to tell him i felt mad at what he did before for badmouthing me with people when we had a good break up. I even have the chat saved where he promised we'd be friends after two years and i gave it 3. He asked why i suddenly wanted to talk to him. Well, i just thought maybe it's time to forgive eachother for everything. I think that really settled that story now.

I learned that healing takes time. I can't believe now i can talk to him and his gf like it's normal. Of course, i would have to consider boundaries. Have to text the girl instead of him directly lest i will be misconstrued with my intentions. I honestly feel good after talking to them. Back then, the drama between us was at a different level which lasted years. Mainly because a lot of people kept delivering stories and issues with eachother and him, being tactless, just fueled the fire.

I'm only happy to be able to tell him directlty and calmly, (after almost 3 years!) "Don't ever assume i'm not over you!! It's obvious my world didn't stop cz we broke up" haha it was a long time coming.

I should do the same now. Come to think of it, my situation with this ex was worst than the current. But i got through it fine. I've fallen and crashed twice now, i should reflect on not falling so easily again.

I also considered him still a special part of my life, and i think he does still mainly because of the past we shared. Was thinking, would my current ex think of me like that considering that i really fought for him? Or would that disappear because he pitied me that i loved him too much. I wish he would still consider me in the future as a friend like how this ex did but i guess i can't expect much from him. He was never the live-up-to-your-expectations type as i said in another blog.

Someday, i will return the favor to all those people who helped me in this important time. Yes, including my ex and his family. For now, i'm concentrating for the bar exams i can't afford putting any more energy on this.

I get weak everyday, i want to call him, tell him i love him but i shouldn't. I can't and mustn't. I wanted to ask his comfort but he never gave it. So i have to give it to myself. Allow myself to express the pain rather than keep it. It's too much to bear alone.

So tomorrow, i will go back and study the crap out until my brain bleeds of legal infornation!:)) although my heart is broken my life won't end! I promise you that!

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Smart Communications: Live more

Messaging is more than communication.

I never used to patronize SMART. I have to confess that it was only in early 2011 that I hastily bought a new Smartbro because I had lost my internet connection for 10 days. I needed the internet to do my online job as a freelance writer and a day without internet is money lost. When I started using Smartbro, I noticed immediately how fast and reliable it was but it was not only until when my nephew got sick and eventually passed away that I really appreciated Smart. We were in the hospital a few days before his operation and we needed a way to communicate to our parents abroad. Of course, we were from Cebu and my nephew was set to be operated in Manila, so my sister, her family and I had to go all the way to the unfamiliar place of Luzon to seek the medical healing of our precious baby. My sister brought with her, her Globe Tattoo while I brought with me my Smartbro. It wasn't long before we realized which one had the most powerful mobile internet and so I allowed them to use my USB mobile net to Skype with our parents. With the other mobile internet provider, we had to many errors and with Smartbro it was just smooth sailing. What do you expect when you have up to 3mbps of mobile internet at your disposal, right?

When my nephew passed away, during the wake, our parents requested that we do not turn off the live streaming so they can watch the mass and mourn with us even if they cannot join us physically. Again, we had the two mobile internet sticks with us and with Tattoo, we still got the same lagging error and with Smartbro, our parents were able to mourn with us real time. The whole duration of the funeral, we took the Smartbro internet-powered laptop around with us to our parents join us during the long procession to the cemetery via Skype and not once was there any error in the video and audio because of the fast mobile internet.

To Read more about my nephew's story click here.

Always connected while reviewing
coz mom calls me anytime.
A year has passed since then and I still have the same Smartbro internet stick with me. A year plus old but still works as fast as the last time. This has been my favorite travel must-have. Now, I'm reviewing for the Bar and I have left my home province of Cebu City to live independently in the big city, Metro Manila. More than ever, I have relied on Smartbro to help me connect with my loved ones and friends because it works well with Skype, Magicjack, Email and social media like, Twitter and Facebook. It has kept the loneliness at bay. And when I need fast updates about the news and the Bar Examinations like Bar Matter updates or new cases and notes I need to download and read, I am worried only that one day my SIM card will die on me because I am dependent on it too much. :P So much so that I actually have two Smartbro Sim cards just in case. What I love about it is that the same SIM card I use for the my Smartbro USB stick can be used in my iPhone or any 3g enable gadget I have. It's very useful if I am commuting because I can use my maps app to search for my destination and the fastest route to get there and if I have information I need to look up in google, it's no problem because I can be online on-the-go. I've also tried using my laptop as a WIFI hotspot using a Windows 7 program, sharing my Smartbro mobile internet to 3-5 other gadgets and it never had any problems. This is my live more moment: Getting out of my comfort zone, starting out a new adventure every time in an unknown world while not sacrificing the bond I have with any of the important people in my life. With Smart helping me get to my destination because of their widest nation-wide coverage, I am NEVER out of signal and I am ALWAYS connected wherever I am.
My Rags to Riches Bag w/ Smart Logo

I have cut off the landline internet at home and switched to Smartbro 3g WIFI mobile net and as for our Globe Tattoo, we honestly don't know where it is now. Imagine paying P999 for postpaid PLDT MyDsl internet every month for only up to 3 Kbps internet speed (and upgrade to only 1 Mbps for P1200 per month) as compared to Smart Unlisurf of P1200/Month of speed up to 3 Mbps and that's PREPAID. Switching was no brainer.

I guess all the patronizing of SMARTbro has paid off, though I could only wish for it, they were kind enough to choose me as the winner for their Live More moment when I shared my story on Twitter. I am now the proud owner of a Nokia Lumia 710 which I will post here after they send it to me in two weeks.

But really, thank you SMART for your service. Looking back, I'm glad our land line internet is expensive, slow and unreliable, without which, I never would have bought Smartbro and wouldn't have discovered the benefits of switching to this mobile internet service.

To end my blog, messaging is more than just communication. It is sharing every moment that matters to the people on the other end and if the line you are using to communicate is clear, powerful and as reliable as SMART, you are sure to send them not only your words but as well as your feelings.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Head to Toe woman's guide in preparing for that first date..

Excited for that first date but unsure how to prepare your self for it? Here are some useful tips for you.

1) Head: Make sure you get a good haircut to get that confidence you need. For the eyes make sure u don't apply too much make up. Use safe earth colors. Save the dark eyeshadows until the third date. Mascarra is a must. Blush on is ok but make sure you put it is as natural as possible. Moisturize to look fresh. Don't use dark lipstick or else you might discourage them from kssing you. Use lipbalm then light beige lipstick to tease. Don't forget the most important accessory, your smile!

2) Body: make sure you wear clothes that cover up you body but reveals enough to show off your curves. Save the backless, strapless or plunging blouse for maybe the second date. Don't wear distracting colors. Go for white, black, grey, velvet red. Don't do green, fuschia pink or stripes. Unless you are confident in pulling it off.. Take note guys look at what you're wearing as much as other girls are.

3) Toe: wear flats! Heels only when you are going to have fine dining but always have light flatshoes ready in your bag. You never know what will happen coz first dates are unpredictable.. A short romantic walk may just spring up!

Talk abut your ex. If it pops up, just politely say that you're not comfortable talking about it. If he insists then that's when you can tell him. Be careful not to sound bitter.

Insist on paying for your food. Offer but if he insists on paying for you then let him.

Be too independent. Let him open doors, pull out your chair, guide you where to go, order for you etc. A man wants to be chivalrous as well. If you let him, you are being sensitive to him.

Clingy or needy. Don't insist on a second date.

Have sex. Leave him hanging for the second date.

Talk to much. Let him open up about himself as well and get to know him to decide whether to get dessert or not.

There you go! Goodluck

On gay marriage..

Why shouldn't gay people get married? What is marriage to us anyway but merely society giving their consent to the union of two people. If the couple is married, the law protects the union and their property and why shouldn't people of the same sex be given such privilege?! They are citizens of this country as well and have given a significant contribution to our economy and they are law-abiding citizens. They're just like every one of us with normal lives. Put it this way: If a person who steals and kills loves someone of the opposite sex, they are allowed to get married but a person who abides by the law and in fact, wants the law to recognize them, yet wants to marry the same sex, they can't and shouldn't.

Just because religion does not approve of it nor can they have the ability to procreate, the state must give equality before the eyes of the law. There is no substantial distinction between a gay couple and a heterosexual couple aside from religious reasons. Is it immoral to fall inlove? Is it immoral to want to spend the rest of your life with someone in marriage? And to Manny Pacquaio, please ask yourself, why does it shock your conscience to see two men or women kissing each other or even get married and is perfectly fine with you to clobber your opponent on International TV and people are actually paying you to do that?! They're not hurting anybody. God created all of us equal. God created only man and woman and made them especially for eachother but he didn't say a woman shouldn't be for woman and man shouldn't be for man if they chose to.

Monday, May 7, 2012

A chat with my first love..

#fb had a short yet interesting chat with someone earlier. Gosh can't believe my first love is married and has a kid. Amazing how I used to be so in love with him at that time I thought letting him go was the hardest thing I ever did. Now, hearing him having his dreams of a family and a girl who'll hold him down came true I'm just so happy for him. Three important things I learned from him currently 1) saying good bye is easy letting go is hard, 2) time will heal the wounds and it starts with letting go and 3) you know you are completely over someone when they no longer have the ability to hurt you but what remains only is the familiarity of still knowing each other intimately yet without all the drama anymore. If there is hate, there is still love. If there is still that invisible wall that makes them different from how you treat others, there is still some feeling there. I thought about looking back and regretting some of the wrong things I've done during that relationship but he was right when he said I shouldn't because he thinks I was God's gift to him and that I was the right girl in the wrong time for him. I don't know if it's true, maybe he was just patronizing me but I liked the idea at the same time I felt blessed! When you've spent a long time with someone because you have strong feelings for them and you manage to preserve the friendship even after a long time they were gone from your life, then you've found gold and that was what he was to me, my precious gold. What I loved about him was that he never disrespected me. He was honest and he was just someone I never had any complaints with. He was a gentleman and he was just my first love literally. In short, he was the one guy who breaks your heart yet made it stronger. I call it "the first love magic" and I don't know how to explain it beyond that. I think it's because he never really disappeared even though he has this nasty habit of being absent for a looong time! Years even! One thing is for sure, the first love magic took years for me to feel it's effects. I don't know what was with him, why he was still very nice to me though I may just be "just another one of his ex-girlfriends" for him, why he would still bother being my friend even after the relationship was over and not just any friend mind you but he is still a very close friend. I thought about all this then I stopped over analyzing and just said to my self "Yep, that's one ex I will never regret loving". It got  me to thinking again, every girl who has ever had a relationship will always look back at that relationship and will probably forget all the memories they ever shared. What remains is you remember how they made you feel. There are those, like him, whom you never really got rid of from your life because they made you light and happy. There are those whom removing them from your life was the best decision you ever made because all they gave you was headache, betrayal and heartache. There are those, a girl looks back to and says "what if". I've had my fair share of those, mind you! (hahaha) Love? I don't know if it's for me at this point in time. I sadly don't want to prioritize it. I still have something important to accomplish though I miss having that giddy feeling of being with someone you love and loves you back I'm not planning to get that old feeling back soon. I guess if there is an addiction, for me, that is my heroine. However, I will say this and mean it: I like singlehood. It doesn't mean I'm saying No to all relationships. I'm just saying I now want to be with the person that I am 100% who will give himself fully to me as I will for him coz I think I've proven twice already that when I love, I never gave any reservations to myself. I'm always going to be the "easy girlfriend" where a guy never will have to worry about me because I'm the easiest to love. I'll love even to the point of being destroyed to an almost impossibility of repair. Some think me crazy yet I still believe it is the right way to go. That is why I don't want to jump into the next opportunity that comes my way. I want something sensual, passionate, consuming and most of all  lasting this time and I think I want to wait for fireworks not just sparks. Have I grown? I'll only know in time. For now, love and life will just have to wait for me in November then in the years to come. I need to fulfill my dreams first then think about dating and continue my search for Mr. Committed later. (Lol) Oh well. Good luck to me. I'm still hopeful about it. I thank God I'm still young and I still have an opportunity to correct my mistakes and change myself for the better that I didn't get stuck in a situation that I feel like I don't have a way out of. Going back to my handsome ex, I'm genuinely happy for him and is only jealous as to wanting to feel that way as well... someday. I think it will be nice to say "I do" to someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. I don't know if I'm mature enough for that but I know I will be. For now, I still have a lot to fix and do I'm far from getting there. I told him this and he gave me the best line a first love magic can only give you and you'll believe it, "I know you won't be alone. God will find a way for you. Just sit back and relax". Hahaha Thank you for the chat, Jok! When did you become so mature?Since it's you I'll take it from your experience. til next time. :D

Friday, May 4, 2012

Stages of moving on..

Have you ever experienced a heartbreak? Have you ever lost someone you love? Do you love someone who does not love you back? Did you just get betrayed?

Being hurt is natural. If the person meant a lot for you and then suddenly they leave you h anging of course, you get confused and the first instinct that comes to you is to fight for the relationship. At times, yes, fighting for it will work but if the other party has made up their mind or worse they have found someone else to replace you, this will open you to a lot more feelings you never thought you would ever experience. You can never tell your reaction during that moment. Even the best ones fall when it comes to love and moving on is as hard as not breathing. Trust me, I've been there and I'm still there. If there is love, unfortunately, there is no easy way to get rid of your feelings of them. You probably are wishing now to forget everything because the pain is unbearable.

Well, you know what? You are not alone.

No matter, how much you think your situation is different from the rest of us, think again, being hurt, heartbreak and pain, everyone has undergone it and everyone has a story to tell. Most lived through it, some never got over it, some chose to end their lives because of this and that's what I made this blog for. To help anyone who is experiencing these things and don't know how to move on.

A friend of mind showed me this blog and it talks about the stages of loss and grief. The blog is applicable to those who lost their loved ones to death.

I have my own version on steps for moving on when it comes to heartbreak. Either because of a third party or your partner just left you because they "fell out" or you broke up with them for one reason or another, these stages are essential to moving on. So if you are still in a particular stage in your opinion, then do not worry, you are moving on. It's part of the process.

Stage 1: Denial Stage

In this stage, people react differently. Others would pursue the other person believing there is still hope even if they left them behind. They would offer their love "for free" hoping the other party would eventually realize they are the best people who will love them and come back to them eventually. Those who were the dumpers would pretend the other party never existed to a point of complete indifference. They ignore the other party, not even try to look at their pictures or any of their social media accounts. Usually the dumpers, don't want to excessively entangle themselves with the dumpee but sometimes since they are usually the pursued, they don't want to tell the dumpee off, enjoying the familiar company of the other party still but don't want to commit to them anymore.

The denial stage is the first stage. Some undergo this for the weeks and some months and rarely, years. The main reason why it takes them so long to pass through this stage is because of the lack of realization they are in denial. They don't want to accept it's over or rather they want it over too soon.

Stage 2: Bargaining Stage

"I should have done this..."
"I could've done better.."
"If ever she/he comes back to me I will/I will never..."

If you ever had these thoughts or anything of the same note, then you are in the bargaining stage. Some would even try to bargain with God, by going to church to pray and petition the other partner to come back and pledge to be a better Christian or whatever religion they belong to. The bargaining stage is the one where you start laying with fate. That you try to look back in the past and try to undo it by making it up for the future. Some would do things like give flowers because they never used to give flowers before when they were still in a relationship. Some would kill themselves with regret blaming themselves for their inadequacies that cause the other partner to leave. Those who were the dumpers would pursue flings and vices that they never got to do while they were in a relationship. They do everything to take their minds off the other party, whom they left behind. They act like they just got "out of the cage".

The bargaining stage is the stage where you want to pursue different and new things which you think might or could have changed the relationship.

Stage 3: Grief Stage

This stage is the time when you are finally realizing the other party is never coming back and the relationship is truly over. You start mourning for it and drown yourself in tears. Especially when you finally realize that there has already been a physical separation between the two of you as compared to before that you used to see each other every other day. Both dumpers and dumpees experience this. Of course, the person was always with you and they became a part of your day, suddenly their absence overwhelms you and you realize you have a lot of time in your hands.

If you are in the grief stage, the void is usually filled with time spent not alone. You want to constantly hang out with your friends. Some drown themselves in work.

The first two stages usually are a cycle. The grief stage is the key to proceeding to the next step. If the person never stopped to grieve for the lost relationship or the lost loved one, they might find themselves back in the denial and bargaining stage. So allow yourself to cry, allow yourself to feel the pain and allow yourself to let it all out and do not deny yourself comfort. Whether in the arms of your friends or family, grief is the most essential stage one should go through.

Stage 4: Anger Stage

Do not confuse the anger stage as the stage when you felt angry right after your breakup. The anger stage is when you truly realize your pain is unwarranted. That you finally realize you've done everything for the relationship and you didn't deserve to be left or didn't deserve to have to break up with them for one reason or another. Of course, you entered in a relationship because you wanted it to last but because of the other partner it didn't. The anger stage is important, allow yourself to be angry at the other person. They hurt you and you love yourself so it's natural to protect yourself from the pain. When someone slaps you or punches you, you get hurt right and you get angry at them for doing so. If you have already started valuing yourself more than the other person, then be angry at them. Do anything to let anger out. The theory is the nearer the time you broke up then the more you are entitled to be angry at them. It's only because they hurt yoou that you are angry at them. Don't worry, anger will pass eventually.

The anger stage usually last for a short period of time. If you are angry at that person let them know. It feels good to let it out, no matter the consequence, let them know how hurt you are and how angry you are at them. Tell them you hate them even if you don't really do, shout at them, scream at them, send them hate texts or mail. I would recommend personal time if you can get them to meet you. The more you let it out, the better you feel later.

Stage 5: Acceptance Stage

When you have finally accepted the loss of the relationship, you won't have any more feelings towards this person. The acceptance stage comes very slow depending on how fast or how slow you underwent the stages if ever you allowed yourself to undergo the stages. For a lot of people, the acceptance stages is proportional to the time you had a relationship with the person. Which means, the longer you were in a relationship with the person, the longer the tie you need to accept that they are gone from your life. Usually married couples who got separated will have a hard time accepting the end of the marriage and still fight ever now and then especially when they still have too communicate every now and then regarding affairs that got intertwined because of the marriage like the kids, house and bills. Remember if two people still fight, they still have that familiarity with each other and never truly accepted the loss of the relationship as they haven't cut off that feeling yet. If truly, you have accepted the end of the relationship, both parties will no longer want to engaged in fighting and treat eachother cordially. If you are still indifferent and angry with your ex and/or still treat them differently among other people in your life, you are still not over them.

To move on, you have to completely let go which means no communication with your ex and if you still are, you no longer try to analyze every message and call, no more trying to analyze why you broke up, no longer trying to make each other miserable, no more feelings towards your ex except the fact that they were a part of your life and you can no longer change that. Acceptance is allowing yourself to be happy which may orr may not mean finding a new love. I always recommend (but don't usually follow my own advice) that people should stay single for a long time after the relationship, not because you are not over your ex, but allow yourself to get rid of the baggage or else your next partner will suffer. Allow yourself to undergo these stages of moving on. Its when you make that first step and decide for yourself will you truly be able to stop the pain faster and get through it faster.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

This guy called Bisaya as "Morons" after the Feb 6, 2012 6.9 Earthquake!

He called Bisayas morons... 

First of all: His information is not accurate! Epicenter was not in CEBU! Not on land even. Durrr that was the first thing that came out of the news.

Second: There is a newly discovered fault line between negros and cebu which caused the earthquakes.

Third: How dare he call people who panicked as morons! I already said my peace with this, but i'll say it again, the power went out, no one had access to internet, radio or TV, people were out doing their work and school and then a very strong earthquake (for some this is their first time to experience it) suddenly occurs. Of course, people were going to panic! They had no access to information, people were already running so first thing in your mind was to save yourself and your family! The Tsunami warning was real because there was an official statement of a level 2 Tsunami alert and though Cebu probably would not have been affected, as Cebu downtown is at the opposite side of the epicenter, people still thought they were running for their lives and you cannot be blamed for that. It was no laughing matter that over 1000 people/families camped out at Ayala Heights that night and people were praying because we never know what will happen next and establishments closed the next day for fear of the aftershocks! 1100 PLUS and COUNTING aftershocks!

Tag away if you think this guy should apologize!

Bestfriends guro ni sila ni ahcee flores! bow!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

How to install magicjack plus and transfer my old magicjack number? Unlimited FREE calls to US and Canada

So, we finally upgraded so far to magicjack PLUS and all I can say it's one of the best gadget so far! I can now call anywhere to any phone (cell or landline) to the US and Canada FREE and to anywhere around the world as long as they own a magicjack or their own cellphone or landline if they are in the US or CANADA. It acts like a land line as it actually connects to your handheld unit directly. No more worries about long distance bills! The cons about the magicjack is that yes, you will be able to save on your international calls to the US and Canada but you needed to have your computer always turned on and the features are in conflict with Skype (without the video). But now, the inventor of the magicjack really outdid the competition when he invented the magicjack PLUS which allows you to operate the magicjack without the computer! You just need an internet connection, a landline phone, a electronic jack or plug, and the magicjack plus.

Now, I had difficulties at first because it did not exactly come with complete instructions on how transfer my old magicjack number to this magicjack PLUS. It gave me such a headache last night until I finally figured out how to do it. At first, when I searched on the internet they said that you needed to pay about $20.00 to do so but it is actually when you want to get a NEW magicjack number. But if you want to use your old magicjack number with no additional cost. Here's what to do:

1) Set up your magicjack (The instructions are in the manual)

2) Turn on your computer and plug the magicjack PLUS to your computer and wait for the magicjack program to launch.

3) On the left portion of the magicjack software, they will ask you to register your magicjack PLUS. Click that and wait for the registration window to pop up.

4) Select how you were able to purchase your magicjack PLUS.

5) They will then ask you to enter your purchase details. I just entered the Zip Code and the name used to purchase it which was the account name of my old magicjack number. Log in your magicjack account details (email and password).

6) They will then give you a series of options and so choose the one that says "I don't want a new number, I want to choose a number already saved to my account." or something of that note. Click Next.

7) Choose your old magicjack number and click next.

Then you are done! Just finish answering those offers that they will show you. I clicked NO to all of them.

Just Plug in your magicjack to the electronic socket with the LAN wire and land line phone connected to it and now your ready to send or take calls to and from anywhere around the world. Now, it really does work like a land line.

Now, you are ready to use your magicjack plus! This is especially useful to those who have relatives and friends abroad. To those who don't know what Magicjack PLUS is, first thing you need to know is that you can only purchase this if you are in the United States. In my case, we asked somebody to purchase it for us and had it shipped here to the Philippines and we just set it up here. Of course, we still need to pay the subscription but what you pay for that is nothing compared to long distance phone bills. The subscription is less than $50 I think if you pay for a certain number of YEARS (take note, YEARS). Just imagine the savings and now we can save more on electricity because we don't have to turn on the PC to use the magicjack PLUS because it works WITHOUT a computer.

The one thing we observed is that this is clearer in quality than the old magicjack so, so far so good! :) I'm not getting paid for this review or blog I just want to do this to show my appreciation for this product because we can call our loved ones abroad anytime without the guilt of phonebills. :)

Updated NOTE: Your subscription in magicjack PLUS is DIFFERENT from your subscription in your OLD Magicjack so I suggest you get a magicjack PLUS before your old magicjack subscription is scheduled to end so that it won't be too much a waste because probably you are only going to use the magicjack plus which will have the same number as your old magicjack so it would be redundant. Once, you activated your magicjack plus (transferred your old magicjack number as I instructed above) you already have a new subscription which is for about one year. DO NOT extend your magicjack (OLD) subscription if you intend to use your magicjack PLUS from now on and just renew your magicjack PLUS subscription after the end of your one year subscription. I have ours in auto-renew so the magicjack company emailed me to confirm my order for renew and I just replied to cancel my order for auto-renew of the old magicjack subscription and they did so now my subscription for that has ended and I'm using Magicjack PLUS full time 24/7. Also note, that once you have a magicjack PLUS you are subject to their NEW RATES of about $30 for 1 year subscription including taxes by the time you renew or extend your subscription.